#9



Shial ay dah rindu tahap fokeymohawk dah ni oi wahai encik kekasih hati, urmmmmmmm

#8

Tak tahu lately ni asyik rasa serabut, takut, gelisah, tak tentu hala, celaru, marah, overthinking, sedih,

tak tahu aku kenapa.

Dah solat, dah ambil wudhu sebelum tidur tapi masih,

masih tak tenang,

lately,

asyik rasa nak minta maaf dekat orang, nak maafkan orang.

Entah.

Sekarang, aku cepat marah, tak menyabar, cepat tersentuh padahal benda kecik kuman je,

kalau dah sakit hati tu jangan cakap la paras mana,

sakit hati kuasa 3 darab 5 bahagi 100 tambah 67 tolak 40 sama dengan 90142834763.

*kau diam kau takyah nak mempersoalkan math aku tu*

Subhanallah walhamdulillah wala ilaha illAllah wallahu akbar.

Ya Allah gantikanlah di tempat keresahan ini dengan kedamaian,
di tempat kedukaan dengan kegembiraan,
di tempat ketakutan dengan keamanan.

Ya Allah sejukkanlah gejolak hati ini dengan salji keyakinan,
padamkanlah bara dijiwa dengan air keimanan.

Ya Allah buatlah mata yang tidak mahu lelap merasa mengantuk yang memberi ketenangan,
letakkanlah di jiwa yang goncang ini kedamaian, 
berilah balasan baginya dengan kejayan yg sudah hampir.

Ya Allah halakanlah kebingungan pandangan hatiku kepada nur cahaya-Mu
tindakan-tindakan ku yg keliru kepada jalan-Mu yang lurus,

Ya Allah lenyapkanlah dukacita ku,
hilangkanlah kesedihanku,
sembuhkanlah kesakitanku,
halaulah keresahan dari jiwaku

Ya Rabb
Ya Tuhanku
daku berlindung kepada-Mu dari rasa takut,
daku bersandar dan berserah hanya kepada-Mu,
daku tidak meminta tolong melainkn kepada-Mu,
Engkaulah pemelihara ku, sebaik baik pelindung dan penolong.

Amin ya Allah.

#7

*Background lagu james dean & audrey hepburn*

Cewah cewah cewah wah wah

ala over em em haha haha hahaha

Sebenarnya tetiba tangan ni gatal nak update pasal kesayangan aku ni,

encik kekasih hati,

nak luah perasaan sikit sebab lagu james dean & audrey hepburn ni reminds me of him, a lot.

Ihik

ingat balik bila peluk dia, gesek dia, gomol gomol dia rasa macam comel angat angat.

Wey ni bukan pets tau ni pakwe aku, ga ha ha ha ha

Sayang, from the moment we started talking kan, i knew that i wanted you around.

Sejak kenal kau sayang, sejak kau ada dalam hidup aku ni sayang

aku bahagia, kau berubahkan segala galanya dekat aku daripada otak ke-bingai-an aku yang macam ke-anak-anak-kan tu,

daripada tak dekat dengan allah, kau tolong dekatkan aku untuk dia,

daripada aku tak faham erti hidup, sabar, dan semua.

Rasa diri ni cukup lepas kau datang.

It's been 2 years aku takda lepas kena "game" dengan stupid guy tu. Since that aku susah nak percaya orang lagi lagi kalau nak title "pakwe" ni.

Lepas tu, kau datang

macam,

"ku datang dengan harapaaaan, membawa cintaaa muuurni, lupakan saja kenangaaaaan, yang mengusik jiwamuuuu"

Cuma nak cakap,

Terima kasih kau datang dalam hidup aku, terima kasih kau atas segala galanya, terima kasih aku tak cukup sebenarnya tapi takpa insyallah satu hari nanti allah balas kebaikan kau,

Hehe, wahai encik kekasih hati moga kita berkekalan hingga hujung nyawa ye? Amin amin ya rabbalamin.

Dah ah maleh aku nak lebih lebih kang tak pasal aku meroyan, ehhe

Thank you love, thank you so much.

#6

"Senangnya kau tinggal orang macam tu je, buat macam sampah"

Sikit je aku nak bagitahu,

Aku tinggal bersebab, bersebab aku tu masuk akal. Aku tak bodoh lagi nak let go orang macam tu, aku bukan takda otak sampai tak boleh fikir mana betul mana salah.

Kau kenapa sibuk? Halamak acah acah caring

Ni bak kata omputeh sikit

"Mind your own business"

*smiley korek hidung*

#5


Like every year abah mesti kena tahan hospital since 2010 dulu.

Abah has diabetes, awal tahun mesti kena tahan, rasa macam every year wajib kena tahan pun ada ahah abah makan semua control, medicines semua ambik, tak pernah tinggal, but one thing dia tak boleh control, rokok. Darn it i hate cigarettes, abah said dia boleh mati kalau takda rokok. That's annoying.

My dad is a hardcore smoker, he could smoke one pack 12 cigarettes, per day. Gila babs okay, i've told him to stop smoking but he would not listen because he is already addicted to cigarettes. Every day i nagged my dad to quit smoking but he would always respond "rokok ni nyawa abah, tak boleh pisah" and he said that he has stress and needs something to alleviate it.

Oh god macam takda benda lain to release stress, aku pulak stress lebih. He spends thousands of ringgit a year to have that temporary pleasure and calmness. Bila abah hisap rokok, i'll say "aduh rokok, aduh pening, aduh nak mati, mintak nyawa" then jeling ahahahaha ok derhaka tu jangan buat! Bila cakap macam tu mesti abah gelak and i was like i'm serious la.

Nak je ambik rokok tu and throw away. It is time for me to save my dad from those evil cigarettes i want him to take care of his own health as he really care of my health. I love my dad, i really need him. Ya Allah please watch over my dad and take care of him, amin ya rabbal alamin

Stay strong stay healthy daddie me love you

#4

I've been hurt too many times before. 

So many damn people have gone in and out of my life, some because of stupid reasons, but others with no reason at all. 

Fuck off. 

I push people away because i'm sick of getting attached i push people away because i'm tired of getting hurt when they never cared. 

I'm just sick and tired of it, i leave before i get hurt. Simple as that. 

Besides if someone is meant to be in my life they'll come back, 

Somehow

#3

I still remembered that day when you said you promised to never leave me again, 

What happened? 

The words "Selamat pagi sayang" tu still stuck in my head alahai rindunya 

Tak berani nak cari balik takut benda sama jadi, 

Quite honestly sometimes i wish i could just forget everything about you, i wish i didn't remember all our insider jokes, the times we laughed and i wish i could forget everything because it only hurt me in the end. 

You left, just like everyone else does, that's what hurt more than anything. 

Sometimes i wonder if you still think about me, don't you? I pretend like i don't care about you but ah that kills me

I really miss you, i can honestly say i miss having you in my life, now i miss everything we had, and it gets really hard sometimes. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be

Cibai ah my fingers actually shake a little as i write this. 

Masa rock the world 12 haritu aku nampak kau, you were wearing blue shirt kan? I feel so excited masa nampak kau tu but at the same time i'm so scared nak tegur idk why

Maybe someday in a place far far away we'll meet again and continue where we left. 

We haven’t talked in a long time and i'm trying to be okay with that. 

I miss you so much, take care buddy

#2

How you guys doing? Geeeewd? 

I'm officially one of the spm candidates 2013, dak dak spm dah ni wey 

So first day of school was fun! 

Classmates still stay sama, semua stok lahabau je semua benda boleh kautim habis habis dengan dorang 

Walaupun hangpa semua annoying babi tapi takpa hangpa still cool

Aiceh

Dan tak lupa juga pada tahun dua ghibu tiga belaih ni, i'm the assistant monitor 

Okay tak padan sebenarnya tapi peduli hape aku

I'm the mother fucking queen la dalam class tu

So this year kena struggle sikit for spm, sikit kepala hangguk kau

Bye

#1

It's been over 10 months since my last post

Okay lama gila, aku tahu, kau diam la

I feel so awkward updating my blog right now, rasa macam dak dak baru nak up ahaha 

Dah lama nak start blogging balik but yeah my tiredness/laziness took control over me. 

Help me

But now i'm back to blogging *suara eksaited*

Tolong yay untuk aku

Yes i've deleted semua old post, i decided to start new post sebab semua old post tu macam bangsot 

Ops sorry tercarut ah pulak malas nak backspace balik anyanyanyanya

Dan

That's all 

I have nothing to write, will update more later

Xoxo sikit